Good morning, fearless witches -
Last Thursday, news broke that That 70s Show’s Danny Masterson was sentenced to 30 to life for raping two women who also shared that the Church of Scientology intimidated them into silence. For a brief moment, his surprisingly severe sentence showed an outlier of how our culture holds powerful men accountable for violence against women - and it demonstrated a potential cultural shift. (Sidenote: One day soon I’ll tackle the problem with carceral feminism.)
But then on Friday, character witness letters from Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis were circulated in which they asked the judge for leniency in Danny’s sentencing. In the letters, they defended this violent serial rapist as a man who treated people "with decency, equality, and generosity," "an outstanding role model and friend," and an "exceptional older brother figure," among many other grossly sympathetic statements.
This news brought me back to reality: When it comes to a powerful man being outed for violence against women, there will always be people more worried about his damaged future than his victims’ trauma.
Broadly, himpathy1 refers to the social/legal phenomenon that occurs after powerful, rich male public figures are publicly accused of violence, usually sexual assault. Through various channels and across various mediums, the perp’s supporters begin hauling phrases such as:
He’s paid his price
He’s been punished enough
It was a long time ago
He’s never raped ME, so he couldn’t have raped HER
He was just a boy
This allegation will ruin him, and he has such a bright future
It was a case of mistaken identity
There’s no way he could’ve done that; he’s such an upstanding person
Good girls forgive
She must be lying.
Although its name is relatively recent, the language of himpathy isn’t new - it indicates the widespread pathological moral tendency to feel sorry for the male perpetrator. This narrative frames the situation as if temporarily losing money, power, fame, or fans is payment enough, and it lets him off the hook from any further obligation to make amends. The man’s supporters might also use his social/professional standing as evidence he couldn’t possibly commit the act of violence, or they might focus on his account of the scenario, his potential pain, and/or the loss of his bright future.
The word himpathy entered our lexicon in 2018 during Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh’s Senate confirmation hearings, during which many powerful people declared his good character to undermine the evidence of his alleged sexual violence against Christine Blasey Ford. Kavanaugh famously said of the accusations that “my family and my name have been totally and permanently destroyed,” shifting the victim narrative onto himself.
And perhaps the most well-known recent himpathy case was that of Brock Allen Turner (who now goes by Allen Turner), who violently raped an unconscious woman behind a dumpster at Stanford. Among Brock/Allen’s sympathizers’ primary concerns was that in prison, he could no longer enjoy a nice rib-eye steak fresh off the grill. They described the assault as a mere “twenty minutes of action” out of twenty years of good behavior, stating that a conviction could potentially jeopardize his swimming scholarship and dreams of competing in the Olympics. The judge in the case, Aaron Persky, notoriously worried about “the severe impact” of the conviction on Brock/Allen’s future and handed him a paltry six months rather than the maximum of fourteen years. Brock/Allen served only three months in a county jail.
And there have been so many more high-profile himpathy cases in recent years: Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, Russell Simmons. Louis C.K. admitted to masturbating in front of women without their consent, and his supporters argued that he had “served his time” and should be allowed to “move on with his life.” Last year, we witnessed the general public’s cruel response to Amber Heard during her 2022 defamation trial against Johnny Depp, which saw Depp respond to Heard’s abuse allegations by accusing her of abuse. Himpathy is still alive and well.
So what do we do about himpathy? Two things:
Be aware when it’s happening, and call it out if you’re safe to do so.
Listen to girls and women. Believe assault survivors.
Danny Masterson is owed zero sympathy; I think we all (for the most part) know that. But Mila and Ashton’s letters prove there is still so much more work to do in calling out this bullshit. There are still far too many reasons why women don’t feel safe to come forward with stories of violence and abuse. As Professor Manne explains:
“You have a civic and human right to exist in a world where your experience is taken seriously and not assessed with regard to [an attacker’s] often immediate short-term consequences.”
That’s it for this week, my loves. Thank you for being here again. Please know I will always listen to you and believe you. I’m here if you need me.
Until next week, I love you to pieces -
Sarah
Rec of the week
The Summer of the Black Woman by Errin Haines for The 19th
Beyoncé, Simone Biles, Sha’Carri Richardson, and Coco Gauff headlined a season of history-making success shared and celebrated by Black women at concerts, on the tennis court, the mat, the track and on social media. This article reviews a summer full of Black women’s collective joy and agency as acts of resistance during this increasingly hostile climate in the US.
In the news
Remember the Tennessee Three? Earlier this year, three Tennessee state Representatives (Justin Jones, Justin Pearson, and Gloria Johnson) bravely took to the state House floor with a bullhorn together to criticize legislative inaction after a mass shooting at a Nashville school in March. Unsurprisingly, the
NRA-bootlickersRepublicans got their feelings hurt and compared the protest to an attempted "insurrection" and then voted to expel the three lawmakers. The House kicked out Jones and Pearson, who are Black, but spared Johnson, a white woman. Jones and Pearson easily won their seats back in a special reelection - and Gloria Johnson just announced she is running for US Senate to unseat Marsha Blackburn. Gloria made the announcement outside a Knoxville school where one student fatally shot another when she was a teacher in 2008 to argue that "nothing has been done" since. We need more people like the Tennessee Three in power.In abortion news: South Carolina’s newly all-male supreme court upheld a six-week abortion ban because of course they did, reversing course from its decision in January to strike down a similar ban. Indiana’s state supreme court also just upheld a near-total abortion ban, enabling the law to go into effect statewide. Another day, another set of evangelical men deciding what to do with our bodies and futures. *heavy sigh*
A new report from the CDC found that one in five women feels mistreated during maternity care, and almost one in three said they had experienced discrimination because of factors like age, weight, or income. Roughly 30% of WOC said they had been mistreated, and 40% of WOC reported discrimination because of race and ethnicity, income, type of health insurance, or differences of opinion with caregivers, among other reasons. Among the most common complaints about mistreatment: healthcare providers ignoring their patients, refusing requests for help, or failing to respond to a call for help in a timely manner. Women reported being shouted at or scolded, having their physical privacy violated, and having healthcare providers threaten to withhold treatment or force them to accept medical interventions they did not want.
Final thoughts
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This was a new term for me and I'm so grateful for the language!